10 Unspoken rules commonly used in digital correspondence rituals:

As time progresses on and we evolve from time to time we have to adjust our understanding of the way we communicate with each other. Now that majority of the conversations or conducted with technology as oppose to face-to-face there are certain guidelines one should follow in order to communicate effectively. Below you will find some helpful tips to keep in mind in this new age of “Techno-Talk” or the “Heterotexual Male”.

1. Don’t randomly call
   • From an unprompted call, one has no idea what the other person is doing, no idea where they are at, and no idea who they are with. Honestly, I just find it weird if anyone other than my family calls me unannounced I don’t answer. And they usually have very little to add to the conversation when they do call.
2. Don’t randomly FaceTime
   • Weird. See Rule 1.
3. If you going to call and then have something to talk about
   • Please be prepared to talk if you call randomly, it is rare that the phone will be answered but in the case that it is answered, don’t expect the other person to carry on the conversation on your behalf. Have something of value to contribute or at least make it short. Also, it’s best to start the conversation off with a preface something in the realm of “I’m driving right now so it’s easier to just call right now”.
4. When someone initiates a conversation on a platform, responds on the same platform
   • If you received a text, don’t reply on social media to that text and vice versa. Either there isn’t immediate access to the other platform or the conversation needs to remain private for the moment.
5. Don’t send multiple messages that are unrelated, give the person time to intake and respond
   • The recipient of a text may not be in the same field of reference as you and their mind may not be racing a thousand miles a minute. They may need some time to evaluate your last message and respond correctly. Plus this adds to confusion if they are responding to several different subjects at once. Also…Weird.
6. It’s okay to text to acknowledge the holidays
   •  Just don’t expect it to result in a conversation especially if you haven’t spoken since the last time this occasion arrived.
7. Do call when –
   • It’s important, we are meeting and something has changed in the plans, or it is bad news. If you are calling because you are lost, one will immediately assume your phone does not have GPS or you can’t figure out technology, or both.  
8. One-word replies mean we are ending this conversation for now.
   • It should be assumed you are busy or don’t want to participate in the back and forth of a text conversation if your text is “K”. This also slightly applies to short answers to the previous questions with no further interest or rebuttal.
9. My available hours for texting are from 9 am to 9 pm
   • If you text before 9 am, with no plans, one will assume you’re bored. If you text after 9 pm one will assume it’s a booty-call. The double zeros after the 10:00 signify a butt.
10. Lightly use emojis.
    • Emojis are best used like sprinkles if you through in a few it adds some flavor to the conversation and is a filler for the richness of non-verbal cues. If you just toss in emojis relentless it will be assumed you don’t have an ample grasp of the vocabulary to hold an adult conversation.